oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if only i could text you this smell
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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