Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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