just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize