Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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