Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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(517): View more from Michigan

We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

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(301): View more from Maryland

so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards

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(519): View more from Ontario

My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

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(310): View more from California

I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase

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(940): View more from Texas

My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.

(817): View more from Texas

Your life rocks...

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.

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