remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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