I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
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Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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