Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
