where am i from again
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
