It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
