The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
