He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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