this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize