Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
