ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we're so committed to being not committed
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
