I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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