She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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