3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
