That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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