I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
