I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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