i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
