I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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