It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
