Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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