Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
