what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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