Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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