I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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