This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
