I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
