I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
