I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
