Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
