She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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