Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
