Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
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So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?