i already hear my dad disowning me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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