So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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