Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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