It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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