He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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