i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
