I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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