tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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