O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
