He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
