I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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