i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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