Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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