look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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