also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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