my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize