he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
