i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
