just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need a beard to bite.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
