I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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