...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize