This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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