I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
