how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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