there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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