Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
